social media – The Balancing Act

I have been MIA for a few weeks now. I have been in complete survival mode.

Sometimes in life it is important to disconnect and simply survive. I have been taking time away from my computer, phone and social media to just make it. I have been in a funk and am currently trying to figure out what can get me out of it. I have been baking A LOT.

Some things I have learned during these times:

Social media is my biggest trigger.
Baking releases endorphins in my brain that make me extremely happy and able to cope. (Recipe page coming soon)
Life does not have to evolve around your job. You can make your job evolve around you life.
Finding people who are there for you is important.
I have found my “tribe” and I thank God for them every single day. I literally would not be able to write this post right now if I did not have them.
Your tribe does not have to be made up of all the same type of people. I have very different personalities in my tribe and that works the BEST for me because I have very different personalities based on what I am going through and they all give different advice so I am able to see all sides of a situation and how different I could handle it.
It is okay to not be okay.
It is okay to put yourself first. If you need to take a breather and go for a walk or cry, do it.
The people who are there for you when you are at your worst are going to be there for you forever. They aren’t leaving. They love you.
There will be a brighter day. It may not be today, and that is okay.

I have been using this time to bake, self-reflect and analyze what I am doing in life to determine what is next. I want you to know that you can do it too. If you need to go into survival mode just so you can figure things out, that’s okay. Turn off your notifications, set the phone down, close the laptop, figure out what your soul craves and make it happen. For me, I started baking, working on beautiful handwriting, and just being in the moment with people who are there and it has done wonderful things for me. I am not out of the woods yet though.

Survival mode also means exposing feelings, and for me it has been so hard to realize that I am actually experiencing anxiety and sadness to a level I have no choice but to address. I have been so busy just looking at my phone, on social media, working, or just sleeping that I did not realize I had this sadness and anxiety that I had never addressed. Everybody copes differently, for me, I always thought I needed to just get back to work, get back to being busy in order to “cope” but really, I was in survival mode. I was just continuing to fill my cup and then one day it spilled over and everything was out on the table. In order to prevent that from happening in the future, I have been dealing with emotions as they arise so that my cup stays upright.

Survival Mode is supposed to be a phase that helps save your life. It is not meant to be how you live. – Michele Rosenthal

Sometimes we get caught up in social media and what other people are doing all the time and find ourselves yearning for the same life.

Social Media does not show you every aspect of a person’s life, it shows you what they want you to see. You could be seeing one thing on social media and the reality is actually very different. For example, almost 2 years ago I was posting about Kamryn’s milestones and work, but never posting about how I was 6 months pregnant. My pregnancy obviously was a huge part of my life, but I did not want to get my hopes up that people would be there for me, when I knew that once the baby was 3 days old, they would all disappear.

What I am trying to say is that you should not base your life on what you see of someone else’s life from the skewed image of social media. People are more complex than just a few status updates and a few pictures. That girl that “is always with her friends” works all the time and never gets a break. That girl who has the #squad at the end of every picture, goes to dinner by herself because her “friends” are too busy for her. The mom who is always posting cool arts and crafts with her kids just yelled at them because they spilled paint on the brand new carpet.

It is okay to feel the way you feel. More people than you think feel the way you do. Alone. Behind. Out of the Loop. You need to know that you are not alone. You are never alone. Sometimes work demands more than social life. Sometimes those friendships aren’t everyone else’s priority. It is okay to post on social media that your kids spilled the paint and you got upset while they were making that craft. It is okay to post the messy, not perfect things on social media too. I bet you that more friends would relate to the messy than to the perfect.

It is important to be vulnerable. It is important to show people that you do have a life outside of friendships. When you show that side of you, you gain more than you lose. If we are always showing the perfect, we are making someone else envy us and feel like they have failed because they don’t have it all together. I know that I feel envy every time I see a specific person post because according to social media, their life is perfect. They make good money, travel often, are always with their friends or family, they have it all. But, I talk to that person in real life and they are struggling with being alone. They travel so much for work that they never see their friends. They haven’t found a partner in life and their friends are all getting married. They are envious of my life because I have everything they yearn for, a husband, two kids, I have bought and sold my first home and own my second home. To them, I am settled and they feel very unsettled.

We always think the grass is greener on the other side. But, the person whose life you envy, could be envying yours thinking the same thing. We should love the life we live and find ways to improve it in the ways that we want to. If that’s traveling more, finding friends, being calm when your kid spills the paint, we can accomplish these things within ourselves without wishing to have someone else’s life completely. The first step is to be open and share the not so pretty sides of our lives. We all have them. Let people in. Find what you desire from that other persons life and make it happen in yours. You want to travel more? Spend less somewhere else. You want to have a #squad, find people who can be that for you. You want to not blow up on your kids for the small things, breathe and remind yourself that the moments are what matter.

You have complete control of making your life what you want. The grass is greener where you water it. When you realize that, the sky is the limit.