Sometimes balance is an act….

Balance: to keep or put (something) in a steady position so that it does not fall.

I started this blog in the thick of the pandemic. I wanted to share my experiences with others to let them know that they are not alone. What I didn’t anticipate is having all of these ideas in my head but no time to spend putting fingers to keyboard to put them out here. But, I am committing to setting aside time to do just that.

I saw a post yesterday that said “How do you do it all?” and the person thought to themselves “drowning in laundry, solid door dash dedication, sporadic (half assed) home cleaning sprees, late drop offs, extra after school screen time, minimal sleep, minimal expectation” but responded “It is all about BALANCE.” Can we stop acting like you can do it all if you just maintain “balance”??? Do you know how many times I have thrown a ball, or 10, in the air and only caught 1? You can’t juggle it all no matter how balanced you are. You have to be well thought out, coordinated, always with a plan. But, you never have time to think through everything, coordinate it, come up with a plan, so what we all really do is throw each ball in the air praying that we can catch them all. But, sometimes a ball drops…..

What happens when a ball drops?

For me, when a ball drops, I spiral. I immediately question every other ball that is in the air and say F it and then before I know it they’re all falling…. all around me… like rain… and then its raining failure….. Then I get on social media and question why I couldn’t handle all of the balls in the air but she can? What am I doing wrong? I must not be good enough. I am a failure. This spiral happens every.single.time. But the good news, is that I am not the only one who can’t juggle all of the balls in this thing called “balance.” More than likely, there is someone that she is throwing her balls to rather than trying to juggle them all herself.

I am finally at a point that I can feel a ball starting to fall and before it can, I hit it over to someone else as if it were a volleyball. Can’t get the house clean in the time I am at home, ask the kids to pick up their toys and help me clean what they can and ask my husband to vacuum or do the other items. Running late so I’m unable to cook at home in a timely manner? You can bet I am stopping on my way home to grab dinner from fast food or just a to go order from the local restaurant. Feeling overwhelmed trying to get from one town to the next to pick up the kids from daycare and school? I ask my mom to pick up Jordyn so I can be home for Kamryn and start preparing dinner.

The KEY to life is not “balance” the key to life is being able to recognize when you are starting to fall or drop a ball and being OKAY with asking for help. Trust me, realizing that you CANNOT do it all is HARD. But, when you realize that, you open yourself up to being able to do what you can the BEST you can. Let’s show less of the balancing act and more of the real struggles.

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